Becoming Mom

I have always told my Mom that becoming a Mom was the strangest sensation of my life.


{Not referring to uh, ^that^ sensation}

I suppose I expected some sort of switch to flip as soon as I birthed my daughter that would suddenly turn me into my Mom.


You know what I mean? Like, my Mom. The woman who knows everything. Who would do anything for me. She knows where everything in the grocery store is{and what it can be used for}. How to treat any sickness. Where to find that bible verse you are looking for.


And I was so confused laying there in that hospital right after Abigail was born and the realization dawned on me….that I was still just me.


No magic switch had flipped.

No overnight change happened in me.

But my Mom has always disagreed.

She would say, “Courtney. You don’t see it. But I can. You are an entirely different person now than you were before you had Abigail.”

And I didn’t believe her. Ever.

Until now.

My very best friend in the whole world had her first baby girl almost two weeks ago. Sweet little Brecken Marie. And while I’m sure she feels like the same person as always{plus a sprinkling of post partum hormonal roller coaster}….just with another human depending on her entirely for their survival.


I see something much, much different.
She is beautiful.

Β She is strong.

She is strength embodied.

She is fierce.

She has blossomed into something altogether new and lovely.

She is worry.

She is new.


Β She is love.

And you know what? I realize now that what I see when I look at my best friend, my Mom saw it when she looked at me too.
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62 Comments

  1. Ok first of all. You look amazing in that first pic for just birthing a baby. Your makeup! Second-this post is beautiful! I love it! And that baby is a doll!

  2. I love this post. I felt the same way as you as I looked down at my newborn daughter. It was a bit nerve-wrecking (I had never changed a diaper before), yet blissful at the same time (she had the cutest button nose). πŸ˜‰ It made me look at my mother in a completely different light, and it really made me appreciate her so much more! #SITSBlogging

  3. Aw, this is so sweet. It's funny how you didnt feel any different, but your mom could spot it straight away. It's pretty amazing.
    How do you and your best friend look so gorgeous after giving birth!? πŸ™‚

  4. Those little guys have a way of stealing your heart and rocking your world. Very sweet sentiments. I'm popping in from SITS.

  5. I definitely noticed that with a friend of mine that had her son a few weeks ago. She is so different now that she has a son, not in a bad way, but it's just different. I love your perspective on this, that it's not like a switch that goes off. I think that is what we expect when we're expecting.

  6. My grandson is 18 months and I am just amazed at how great she is as a mother. All of the natural mother instincts came out as soon as he was born. You have a great blog #SITSBlogging

  7. I've read this about 100 times today. I'm so glad you wrote this so I can have it forever. Being a new mom is so overwhelming and this makes me feel like I'm normal. I love you so much!

  8. Wow, that was beautiful. I too was in shock with my first. I didn't think I felt any different. To tell you the truth I was scared as hell! For my daughter, not for me. I thought "Wow, this kid is mine and I have no idea how to care for her." Ha-ha, we learn though, don't we? I'm on #4 and still learning!

    (Visiting from #SITSblogging and spreading the comment love)

  9. I think the first time I looked in my baby's eyes I thought, "ew. can someone go clean her off and then bring her back to me?"

    Ha! But seriously, a few days….or weeks later, the love was definitely there for sure. Mama bear was present from day #1 though!

  10. This rings so true. Except I see it in myself. I was a different person the moment I started IVF, then I was a different woman each time it failed, I became a different woman the moment I gave birth and even different again when I gave birth a second time. With each and every thing that has to do w/ children, I have strengthened and weirdly become more confident with myself. Motherhood is an amazing thing.

  11. Can I first say how beautiful and peaceful you look right after the birth?? I don't have any children but I hope to look half as put together as you do in my hospital pics. You and your daughter look so beautiful. Congratulations on your addition to your family.

  12. I LOVE this post. So sweet and so true! Well I mean I don't see it in myself at all but I totally know what you mean. My best friend has a daughter just two months younger than mine – I see it in her. Thanks for sharing this!

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