My Give A Damn Is Busted
I have been blogging for 10 straight years now- truly- I started this blog in February of 2012. When my first born daughter was 15 months old, to chronicle our life as she grew up. To keep family in the loop (we never lived near any of our family!) and to share all of the fun, silly things that happened in our daily lives (hence, A (for Abigail) plus + Life (our life) blog). In those 10 years, I’m pretty sure I’ve never once used a swear word and now, a decade later, here is one in the title of my blog post.
But honestly, folks.
My give a damn is well beyond busted.
I want you to sit and think for a minute:
Do you remember,
When you could open up your blog reader in the morning and just truly ENJOY what the people you were following had to share?
They showed you their outfits, their target finds, their home decor linkups, their homeschooling tips, their trip to the zoo pictures, a friday favorites round up, anything and everything. Big and small. And you just…..
And you left a kind comment telling them how cute their kids were, or how much you loved that sweater, or how you adored her new haircut….
and then they would reply, and you would have a short, sweet exchange and sometimes…a real, full freaking friendship would grow from those little comments and emails.
And, wait for it,
if someone DIDN’T like their cute kids, or their sweater, or their new haircut they either
A) didn’t leave a comment
B) left a rude comment and were considered a “troll” and banned from commenting any further
I don’t know about y’all
But I miss the “good old days” of social media
When we were a community, and we were (for the most part!) kind, and friends with each other.
We weren’t constantly bombarding others with causes, and opinions, and rude comments, and the endless
“Well what about”
“Have you considered”
“I mean, I agree with you, but”
“That’s so privileged”
“Did you even stop to think about xyz”
“I liked it better the other way”
“You shouldn’t have done it like that”
“I don’t agree with you on literally anything you ever share but I love to hate follow you and I actually do agree with you on this one insignificant thing you just posted”
FOR THE LOVE
Can we just stop?
Can. We. Just. Stop.
Do you remember when you could know who someone voted for….and still be friends with them?
OR, do you remember when we didn’t even KNOW who someone voted for- because we didn’t talk about it just like you weren’t supposed to talk about how much money your salary is?
Do you remember when you used to be able to just share an opinion, or an idea, or something you’re doing and it wasn’t immediately met with:
“Do you have a link or source to prove that statement?”
“Can you link to a PEER REVIEWED document to certify what you are stating is true?”
“I’m a double triple QUADRUPLE PHD child development certified educated doctor rocket scientist with 50 letters after my name and therefore I am qualified to let YOU know….xyz”
Guys, I have loved and adored this community for a decade.
I have shared so much.
I have gotten so much benefit from my time here.
But I simply can’t take it anymore.
It is too much and it has made me completely self censor myself, my beliefs, my family, my home, and my life to oblivion.
And, for some people, maybe that’s fine. But for me, who has always LOVED to share, and inspire, and encourage, and come to a place to be with you all and find community, relationship, friendship, and more in the online world- this has been impossible for me to navigate.
But, here I am, trying to tell y’all that I’m still committed to trying to navigate it. I need and want to find my tribe of like minded souls who are out there, ready and willing to be forces for good, joy, happiness, silliness, creativity, wellness, abundance, freedom, love, kindness, critical thinking (not critical, like critical….critical like…..independent!), and to not be SO SERIOUS ALL OF THE DANG TIME. Can we all just lighten up? Can we?
Listen, I know life has been hard- I’m the first to get it. I don’t have to give you my entire list of hardship, but you can know that it’s there.
But, as I’ve always said, it isn’t the pain Olympics. You don’t win a prize for having it the hardest and you don’t do anyone any favors for telling someone to be grateful because so and so that you heard about has it harder than someone else.
So, let’s maybe just stop it?
I, for one, am done with the doom scrolling. I’m done with the comment sections. I’m done with receiving rude DM’s. I’m absolutely over the moral superiority of a differing opinion. All of it. Doneeeee.
I think you get me.
So, come one, come all- my word of the year is FREE. If you want a place to read, experience, see, and feel freedom, joy, and happiness. If you want someone who is committed to telling the truth, but always with kindness. If you want a space that is engaging, encouraging, silly, light-hearted, and happy,
This is the place for you.
You can find me over on IG too– the same rules apply!
Happy 10 years, A + Life.
Cheers to 10 more.
💯 💯 💯
I mean just AMEN!! I quit blogging after I just couldn’t keep up and now with our surprise almost one year old and my job I definitely don’t have time and with all the nonsense I’m ok with not blogging anymore. I do enjoy reading yours though!! It would NEVER occur to me to leave a negative comment for anyone, I just don’t get it.
Love this! It made me teary because once again….I understand you and I get it. I appreciate you Courtney, and I appreciate your blog. I appreciate you putting this out here today and for reading my mind. xoxo <3
me! i am your people. AMEN to all of this! it’s like you took the words out of my mouth. i have been following you since way back when too! i have always said can we just go back to the good old days and i meant wayyyyy back when and now i just mean like 5 or so years ago haha.
Yes, yes, and more yes. Keep being your authentic self!
Preach it louder to the people in the back! I couldn’t agree more. Each person is unique in looks AND opinions AND personalities and should be afforded the right to have their OWN personal opinion without being attacked. And don’t get me started on filters. You don’t even know what a person truly looks like anymore because they’ve filtered themselves up so darn much.