Canceled.

I wanted to get this up yesterday, but 6 hours in the car+shopping and lunch with bff+wrangling the kiddo=it just didn’t happen yesterday. Anywhosen.

It’s official. IVF #1 isn’t happening in April.

As I talked to my Mom on the phone she says, “You sound really good.” And you know what? I’m feeling good. I’m sure having 3 days to really prepare myself for cancellation helped. I’m sure having a plan of action already in place helps. But, I’m mostly sure that having countless people praying for us (and me specifically) has made the biggest difference.

So, thank you prayer warriors.

A brief recap for what the point of yesterday’s appointment was: On Tuesday, we discovered I was “breaking through” my suppression medicine. Basically, my body was trying to ovulate on it’s own. So, the plan was to immediately stop birth control, continue the Lupron injection, and hopefully I would have a light period that would drop my hormone levels, help shed the uterine lining that was thickening, and reduce the size of the follicles that were developing.

I did have a light period on Thursday and some Friday morning, so there was some hope that maybe my body was cooperating with our plans for IVF. I was fairly positive that it would be too little, too late but there was no way to know for sure until I got to my appointment.

When I arrived I had my bloodwork and we moved straight to an internal ultrasound. I think my nurse said something like, “Oh darnit!”  Things had certainly changed in there alright, but NOT in the way they were expecting or hoping them to. Remember the largest follicle I had on Tuesday? The 17? It was a 25 yesterday. And the other 3 clocked in at 19, 17, and 15(I think…I can’t quite remember now). My lining had also thickened even further to 8.

Remember back in our IUI cycles when I would go for my monitoring appointments and I would have 1 mature follicle? That was with fertility drugs. This cycle? I’m on birth control. And a drug that suppresses ovulation. I have THREE and almost a fourth mature follicles. INSANE.

So, based off of that. Yes. Definitely canceled.

But, then I asked my nurse if I could trigger with the Ovidrel in my fridge at home. I mean, those are big, beautiful follicles. I don’t want to waste them!  She thought that sounded like an excellent idea and completely encouraged me to go for it. So, that’s what we’re doing this month. I triggered with Ovidrel last night, just like with our IUI’s, and we’re going to try the old fashioned way.

Looking to the future though, if in 2ish weeks I’m staring at another negative test, we will move forward with IVF #1.5. Except next time, I’ll take 2 bc pills a day and an entirely different sort of Lupron. To, ya know, actually suppress me next time.

As Nurse Marci pointed out, she was so glad for me that this month isn’t a waste. That we can still try. She said she hates telling people that they’re cancelled and then they have to wait 2 months to try again. Luckily for us, even though we can’t proceed with IVF right now, we can still try and there is always that chance that this time will be “the one”.

You know, the one where I was on birth control. Talk about ironic.