I was never worried about adding another baby to our family. I know some people really struggle with that and stress about how they could love another as much as their first. That wasn’t my worry. I knew that I would love them both the same- I wanted another baby so, so badly and waited so very long for her that I was not stressed about her coming in the slightest.
The one thing that I did think about though was the dreaded and oft joked about “second kid problems”. I thought about all of the time that I spent with Abigail one on one and all of the things I did with her that I wouldn’t get to do with Mabel. I thought about the routine and the schedule and the newness and the “firsts” of it all with Abigail, that wouldn’t be the same with Mabel. I thought about her getting the shaft in some ways- and that was the sort of thing that bothered/worried me.
Then I read a post about why second babies are the lucky ones and it started to change my mindset- one of the points being, if you could be the parent you are NOW or the parent you were when you brought home your first baby from the hospital- which would you rather be? Answer. Easy. Me now of course! So, then I started thinking of all the benefits Mabel would be receiving, instead of the things she might miss out on.
And now that she’s here? Oh y’all. Second time(and I’m going to go ahead and assume third and fourth and so on) is WHERE IT IS AT.
The learning curve this time around? Ain’t nothin but a thang. I worried about the 4.5 years between my girls. I hadn’t changed a diaper in years! Nurse a baby? Would I remember? All of it, came right back. It was as if I’d been doing it all this time. And not only that, but it was SO MUCH EASIER than the first time.
Things that would have been earth shattering and upsetting to me the first time around? Not even a little this time. Things that I would have stressed over? Nope. I don’t. Things that I was so specific and particular and regimented about the first time? Eh, she’s a baby. Don’t push it.
Abigail- I read the books. I had the plan. I was constantly checking the clock and moving around that. It was all a quest to get her to her own bed. To get her to nap the proper amount of time in the proper place.
Mabel- Haven’t picked up a book, I just follow her cues. I’ll happily hold her for every nap and I’ll even pull her into bed with me at night. AND I LOVE IT.
Abigail- I worried about supply and the holy grail- a freezer stash. So, I pumped and pumped between feedings and ultimately built up a stash that was never even used. I also dealt with engorgement and constant leaking. (Also, let’s briefly mention the hell that was getting her to latch and the weeks and weeks of pain that ensued because of it.) (Also, also, she was the pokiest eater in the land. An hour later she might finally be finishing up) I nursed her on a schedule and considered it a disappointment if she wanted to eat “early”. No nursing in public. EVER.
Mabel- Haven’t pumped once. No engorgement, no excessive leaking(though, no freezer stash). I feed her whenever she wants, whether it’s been an hour or four. We run errands, go anywhere and do anything and I’m not stressed by the clock because I can and will feed my baby anywhere and everywhere. All hail nursing in public. Annnnd she is done from start to finish in 15 minutes. You win this round, Mabel Elizabeth.
Abigail- In the pack n play. NO CO SLEEPING. BAD. To her bedroom in month 4? 5? I can’t remember. In a constant quest to get her to sleep through the night. Disappointment when she didn’t.
Mabel- On our chests for the first few weeks. Then the RNP + my arms/chest. Still in our room with zero intentions of moving her into her adorable nursery anytime soon. Sleeping through the night? Meh. I kind of love seeing her face anytime and I know that those nighttime feedings help boost my supply and her chubby thighs. So, I’m all about that.
Abigail- What’s that? I mean, I have two arms?
Mabel- In the solly. THE SOLLY. Love it. She loves it. Just this week she has been taking multiple hours long naps in it. It’s the best and greatest ever. Wear those babies!!
Abigail- Bath every single night as part of BEDTIME ROUTINE
Mabel- *sniff* eh, she’s still good. Also, I can’t remember when her last bath was.
Abigail- Refuse to put her in there until she is at least sitting up on her own.
Mabel- Refuse to put her in there until she is at least sitting up on her own.
Abigail & Mabel- Love them both so ridiculously much that my heart might just burst at any given moment.
If you have more than one kiddo, what are some things that you did differently? Or, if you have one, what would you change next time?