If I could relive anything it would be

^The day that I found out I was finally a Mommy^
BUT. Since I’ve already written about that once(read it and enjoy it, it’s a great post, if I don’t say so myself), I’m going to choose my second best thing to relive.
Or, more specifically, the before bed, night time, sleepy, post bath, lay down to sleep, not really hungry, soothing, relaxing, nurturing, comforting, snuggling, intimate feeding.
I don’t have any pictures of this. Honestly, I have one picture. ONE picture of Abigail nursing. And you can’t even tell what’s going on in it(I remember being really embarrassed when my Mom took it. I was all, MOM what are you doing?! Why would you take a picture of this! Thank you, Mom for taking that picture. It means the world to me now). I nursed Abigail exclusively for 13 months. I’ve done the math before, it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,000 nursings. And yet, I only have one picture of it. It breaks my heart to think about it, but I’m so happy to think back on those memories even without the pictures to document it.
*Someday, I plan to do an extensive post about Abigail and my nursing relationship. Breastfeeding is one of my greatest passions and one of the best things I’ve ever done in my whole life, but it’s still hard for me to talk about. Someday I’ll get it out!*
Back to today’s prompt.
If I could relive one moment, it would be this.
A freshly bathed little girl with damp hair, that has just been diapered and lotioned and put into her pajama’s, kissed, snuggled, read to and prayed over by her Daddy, being handed over to me in my soft, suede glider.
The lights are dim, almost completely off.
I take her into my arms and bring her to my chest.
She caresses me with her soft baby hands, fat wrist rolls, and snuggles perfectly into the form my of body.
I stare at her.
I breathe her and her babyness in.
I let her stay there as long as I can stand it because I’m never ready to put her into her crib.
She’s always ready before I am.
Then I scoop her up, smell her sweet smell one last time, and place her in her bed.
That’s one moment that I would give almost anything to relive.
The beautiful gift of nursing my sweet daughter.

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  1. Great post! I wasn't a big fan of nursing, but did do it for 4-6 months each time. I always had a really easy time nursing, so not sure why I wasn't a fan….I think I just felt really tied down b/c my girls took so stinkin' long to eat 😉

    1. Oh man, breastfeeding is the hardest, most painful thing I've ever done. And I had a med free delivery! The first 6-8 weeks were the most painful thing of my life. Oh my gosh- I don't even want to think about it. But, remembering how hard I fought for it and how big the pay off was for the remaining 11 months was so amazing for me.

      Good grief Abigail was a pokey eater too. 45 minutes later and she'd still be dawdling there. Which is actually pretty indicative of her personality still today 😉 haha

  2. You described this so beautifully! I have yet to have the opportunity to become a mom, but I hope that it is something that I will get to experience for myself one day. 🙂

    1. Me too. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments, because I really did have to fight to continue. But it gave me one of the biggest rewards and pay offs I've ever received and I'm just so thankful that even for that short while I got to experience it.

  3. Thank you for posting this.
    I know exactly what you are talking about. Katie and I are still in our nursing relationship, going strong for almost 11 months now. You have inspired me to take more pictures of this magic. As it will pass quickly I'm sure.
    It really is a beautiful experience and bond.


  4. I have to admit… This almost brought me to tears. I struggled so long and hard for Miss Hannah to nurse well… She ended up at Children's Mercy due to dehydration because she would NOT eat 🙁 It took her a while but she finally figured it out and I nursed her until about 16mo. It was wonderful after she figured it all out and I loved that special relationship… But when Miss Liv came along I thought, "I just finished nursing Hannah… I've got this!" Ha… No such luck. Between her lip tie, and and bad latch, we are still struggling at 3+mo… I want to have that easy, second nature feeling again!

    1. You are such an amazing mama, Candace! I'm so in awe of you.

      The first 6-8 weeks of nursing Abigail were the most painful thing I've ever experienced. She had the worst latch ever. So I know that pain. It was horrible. It wasn't easy breezy until probably at least 6 months….and it was never second nature for me. I couldn't do it in the dark and I couldn't be discreet. I always had lanolin and nursing pads and extra layers and blah blah blah….that's why the before bed nursing sessions were so good! Ha! Nursing her once she was older and not such a slow poke either really, really made it more enjoyable for me too.

      You guys will get there. I'm praying for you.

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