The Blessing Of Sibling Age Gaps

I used to cry a lot over my children’s age gaps.

They weren’t what I had planned for.

They weren’t what I wanted.

I’ve since learned though, that that was incredibly short sighted of me. Because every single age gap has its own benefits and its own challenges…

but they’re all incredibly beautiful.

So this 7 year age gap right here? It’s unbelievably precious to me. A gift that I never would have picked for myself but am so thankful that it was given.

There was a time in my life when I thought I would be a part of the 2 under 2 crowd. Or even the 3 under 3!

I was going to have baby after baby.

But it didn’t quite work out that way.

There was a time in my life when I thought there wouldn’t be an age gap at all.

I thought that Abigail was going to be my one and my only.

No siblings.

Just her.

But then, 4.5 years later, Mabel girl showed up.

And then 2.5 years after her? Mister Finn.

Through their lives, I have now gotten to experience a larger age gap and a closer one- and I can tell you this, they are both incredibly special!

The relationship between Abigail and Mabel is a gift. The one between Abigail and Finn is just as much. And my sweet middle girl to her brother and sister is too!

I have learned that having an older with littles is basically amazing. On the days when it is just me and the younger two(rare, but it occasionally happens) I think to myself, WOW! I am SO lucky to have my Abigail. It is HARD to have only little ones!

She is my helper and baby wrangler and little sister chaser and conversationalist(sometimes I think her conversations will drive me mad, but, it’s nice to have someone to talk to, too)

Babies and toddlers are so sweet, but they pretty much just take from you all day long. Bigger kids have finally learned how to give back a little to you- that changes things.

And as time continues to pass, we are certainly open and welcome to any and all little ones who want to join our family and the sibling age gap that they bring with them, whether near or far(though….at this point, preferable farther than nearer, ha!) it will be with open arms and hearts that we receive them.

Because the way God crafts our families in His timing, is about the most beautiful thing I can think of.

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  1. Because I don’t have babies of my own, I can’t comment from personal experience but I have cousins; one is 3 under 3 and the other is a 4 year gap between the first two and then a 7 year gap between the youngest two. The 3 under 3 mom is feeling it now and she admits to the stress. The one with age gaps loves it. The oldest child would actually wake up to feed the baby at night (formula babies) often and the bond between oldest and baby is incredibly sweet.
    Like you said I believe any age gap is planned, not by us but God. Yesterday one of my good friends he her 3rd baby. She is 2 older children 7 year gap now with the youngest and the baby, and 12 between baby and oldest. I always told her in His time. She wanted 5 year age gaps all around but the lil miss was born yesterday.
    I’ve always been told I cannot have kiddos, haven’t really wanted to or tried (not married) so I will see what the future holds. I LOVE that I have been blessed with my job, working with children. So I truly believe that is where I am supposed to be. I feel this just turned into word vomit.
    I love that Abigail can help you with the babies and that she talks (and talks and talks ha ha) so you get your cup filled a little bit each day.

  2. What a sweet reminder! My kids were supposed to be closer in age, too. That’s how I planned it, but God had other plans. A 3 year age gap worked out just perfectly for my family. Can’t imagine life any other way now.

  3. My sisters are six and ten years older than me. It took us awhile to get as close as we are today (I mean I had some growing up to do!) but I just adore them and our bond is so so strong. Siblings, when close, are some of the best relationships we will ever have!

  4. I have many of these same feelings about birth order/personality/gender. Leaving that in God’s hands is a blessing because he truly knows what is best for us. Our oldest is a girl, then three boys and we have had this conversation with her each time she wanted a sister and got a brother.
    Thank you for sharing these encouraging thoughts!

  5. Ahh crying. I needed this SO bad. I have a 11 year old a 2 year old and one on the way. I am terrified!!! I have no idea how my oldest will handle a new sibling and how the youngest (now middle) will handle the newest addition. I really needed to hear your insight on each one of these and it really is helping me to relax just a little bit! Thank you!!!!

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